#281: When You Want to Work on the Relationship But Your Partner Doesn't

“Gross!! Unless had kids with somebody, the idea that there is “work” that “needs to be done” just for me to be with someone is so disgusting that I would call a moving company and go away, like, as soon as possible. If something bad happens…”

“What I am hearing is as an anxious person it’s important to discern when the desire to work on the relationship is coming from a real need for reciprocal collaboration versus a mindset trap of hyper-fixation. Because in a healthy secure rel…”

“I don’t understand the obsession with trying to make things work with someone (an avoidant) that clearly lacks the capacity and abilities. That would like taking your car to a shitty mechanic and he keeps breaking the car and you’re like, n…”

“I think if you are not avoidant, you might underestimate the appeal of "just stop thinking about it and the problem will go away." But it really is a big part of how we think! Especially in cases where something bad has happened, the instin…”